Photo: Caique Silva/Unsplash.com
Excerpt from Ch. 12 of Milk and Honey in the Land of Fire & Ice
The momentum that arises from our agreement with Jesus and each other brings great impact. We see it in gatherings, movements, calls of prayer and fasting, corporate worship, generous giving, missionaries in various fields, the dismantling of societal issues. But as methods and messengers get put more on public display, we must guard ourselves against a weapon that the enemy uses so often to derail us off of our own post on the wall. This weapon is the one of comparison. The type of comparison that doesn’t make us better but that leads us away from God’s heart and intention for us. If you consider milk and honey, they are two totally different liquids. Yet they are powerful and effective in their own ways and even more so when they are used together.
We all know and have heard the words encouraging us to not compare ourselves to others, to see our own worth and be united in sisterhood. We hear it all the time, but do we really believe it and walk out that belief? There is a real agenda in the lie of the enemy that tells us we must be exactly like our sister in Christ. It’s not only the opportunity for insecurity and self-doubt to grow, but also shows itself at times in a lack of desire to even move forward. How many times have you looked at someone’s successful ministry or event or business and instead of excitement, felt resentful that you were not in that place in your own life? Especially when something similar you were doing didn’t work out so well. Or maybe it’s someone’s family that you see on social media or social gatherings. Everyone seems more beautiful and more well-behaved and it was all you could do to make sure your children brushed their teeth this morning. Ok?! All these become mirrors that begin to surround us with reflections of the outward perspective of people’s lives without any looks at the inner workings.
When you allow someone else to be your mirror versus the Word of God, you have placed that person as your standard and your limitation. Someone else’s success (or even failure) becomes our ceiling and the lion share of opportunity. Therefore, you can move no further and can dream no higher. How real this becomes even as we brainstorm and put vision to what God has placed on our lives. If we are not careful, we will allow other’s assessments to shift us away from our partnership with God. Instead of producing what the Lord has intended for us to, because of our comparison, we assume that someone else’s call is a denial of our own. You may have been told the market is saturated and has no need of what you bring to the table. But in the Kingdom of God, nothing that we do out of our abiding with the Lord is ever wasted or in vain. And there is definitely a place for what the Lord has placed in you. It’s not about the notoriety or fame that may come with it. It’s about making Jesus famous upon the earth.
We need to gain understanding and see this demonic parasite of comparison for what it is. When we come into agreement with comparison, we may abort our own dreams even before they have the chance to flourish! They won’t even have the chance to sprout. We snatch our seeds away because of our unbelief and don’t feel like it’s even worth it to try to risk, or to hope. The enemy doesn’t even have to steal, kill and destroy our dreams because comparison does it for us. More faith is put in the abilities of someone else to trump our gifts than in the One who gave us the gifts in the first place. The One who created us for this very season and a specific hour. We stand as Moses did in front of the burning bush, constantly pointing the finger at ourselves; constantly demeaning the work of our Creator. All because we can’t speak as fluently as our sister, or sing as well, or look as pretty or dress as nice or have the right amount of money, or the right filters on Instagram or her contacts or her platform.
This is the unfortunate state the church finds itself in because everything is on such hyper display. Consider what Paul says in 2 Corinthians 10:12-13:
“But when they measure themselves by one another and compare themselves with one another, they are without understanding. But we will not boast beyond limits, but will boast only with regard to the area of influence God assigned to us, to reach even to you.” (ESV)
There is a specific area of influence that God has assigned all of us to. It is the post on the wall that we are meant to occupy and steward well. It it may be developed in a season that is not seen. We have the ability to access the accomplishments of others in an instant. We are able to take in the highlight reels of those we admire without seeing what they did to count the cost. We don’t see the years of preparation, of tending sheep, of outright rejection that they may have gone through. We compare our hidden moments to their public influence and so diminish the place where we are now.
Comparison is one of the greatest tools the enemy uses to handicap the Body of Christ. We as a church end up walking with a limp not just because of sin or foolish choices but because some decide that their role isn’t good enough, isn’t as important as others. So considering the illustration of the body, it’s as if the toe bows out, the little fingers decline to engage, maybe one kidney says, nah, I’m not needed. And soon we have a body of self-inflicted harm, deciding to sit out when they were always called out to be a part of the fullness of God’s kingdom. A full body, a whole Bride has always been His intention.
We desire to do something that will honor God but does our comparison bring Him glory? Holy Spirit wants to break this off your life so that instead of moving from side to side, swayed by the crowd, you are moving forward with focused, faith fueled steps towards Jesus. At a certain point that dear daughter in the crowd, the woman with the issue of blood, had to decide to stop comparing what she did not have so that she could grab hold of what she needed. She came into agreement with who Jesus was instead of what circumstances dictated to her. Therefore, she was able to grab hold of her healing and loose her title of being forgotten, unclean and unhealed. She stirred up hope that she could be healed, and Jesus made her whole.
Hope in Christ is a great motivator and silencer of comparison. When we decide to hope, we part the crush of the crowd and grab a hold of what the Lord has for us. In an environment clogged with the search for rights and equality, we need to manifest what it means to be daughters of God. Daughters seek not after the things that would bring them simple equality with others, but they are hungry for EVERYTHINGthat God their Father has for them.
If you are praying for exactly what your sister has you miss out on what God holds in His hand for you. This is one of the biggest lessons my husband and I teach our children. Snack time seems to always lead to competition and they complain over not having exactly what their sibling has. We want to make sure that they understand that there are times we want to bless them specifically and individually and that if they settle for just getting the same, they may miss the abundance we have for them. Equal rights is not wrong, but I don’t want to settle there.
We must turn our eyes from the sin of coveting and seek what has been promised for each of us. I remind you friend that Jesus is the mirror into which we are to look. He is the one we are to model ourselves after.
Your mirror is not your sister, your mirror is your Savior.
He wants us to reflect Him, not the world around us. He is the one who is the Word. Was at the beginning and ever will be. Sharp and active, piercing the lies to bring you to the truth of who you are. Comparing ourselves to Him will not bring shame but true repentance, restoration and change. He is the light by which everything else dulls and fades. Through His eyes we see what really matters regardless of what people say or do. He is the one who sees you clearly, calls you by name and catapults you into the call that can’t be determined by anyone else.
In light of societal circumstances, is comparison keeping you from authentically being and believing for the change you wish to see?
Read more in the book Milk & Honey in the Land of Fire & Ice
